How to Respond When We Feel that God Discriminates: Lessons from the Canaanite Woman of Matthew 15

Partway through his ministry, Jesus left Judea and Galilee—principally Jewish areas—and traveled into the costal cities of Tyre and Sidon, predominantly Gentile areas. Matthew 15:22–26 (NIV) recounts:

22 A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is demon-possessed and suffering terribly.”

23 Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, “Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.”

24 He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel.”

25 The woman came and knelt before him. “Lord, help me!” she said.

26 He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.”

Let’s put ourselves in the shoes of the woman.

Your daughter is in a terrible physical and emotional state. This has been ripping your life apart for days, weeks, maybe months. Then you hear that a miracle worker has come to your city. You seek him out, full of hope and faith, calling upon him in your desperation. And how does he respond? First, he repeatedly ignores you. Then he rebuffs your plea for help and calls you and your people dogs.

Ouch.

How would you have responded? I imagine the woman would have felt quite justified saying something like this: “I can’t believe it. Here you are, claiming to be the son of God. You go around preaching how we must love our enemies and treat everyone as we want to be treated. But the moment you’re faced with a non-Jew, you show your true colors. Now it’s clear that you’re just a bigoted racist, and a hypocrite. If everything you say is false, then your purported healings must just be tricks, too, meant to get power and prestige. I can’t believe I came to you thinking you could help me.”

When We Feel Like Second-Class Citizens

General authorities have said that “In the kingdom of God there are no second-class citizens.”¹

But often it can feel that way.

It can be easy to feel like a second-class citizen when men give 4–6 times as many general conference addresses as women. Or when the Liahona isn’t available in your language. Or when you can’t be in a same-sex relationship and still be in good standing with the Church. Or when you don’t get hired as a seminary teacher because you’re not married. Or when you sing “and Ephraim be crowned with his blessings in Zion” and your patriarchal blessing declares that you are of the tribe of Naphtali.

The fact is that the Lord often structures His Church and His gospel in ways that, by modern standards, are “inequitable,” “discriminatory,” and even “bigoted” (not to mention the historical inequities!). We can go to lengths to explain, defend, and minimize those inequities. But they are there.

So what do we do?

We could respond, like the Canaanite woman could have, “I can’t believe it. Here you are, claiming to be the church and kingdom of God. You go around preaching how we must love our enemies and treat everyone as we want to be treated. But the moment you’re faced with a woman, or an unmarried adult, or a gay couple, or anyone else that doesn’t meet your definition of “ideal,” you show your true colors. Now it’s clear that your whole church is just a bigoted and racist organization, and that you are all hypocrites. If everything you say is false, then your purported priesthood power, your visions and healings and miracles, must all just be tricks, too, meant to gain power and prestige. I can’t believe I came to this church thinking it could help me.”

In other words, we could walk away.

But what would have happened if the Canaanite woman walked away?

She would not have accessed the power of Jesus Christ. She would have had no miracle. Her daughter would continue to be possessed. Because there was nowhere else she could turn to access true power.

I believe that, in addition to whatever else Jesus may have been doing in this episode, Jesus was testing this woman’s faith, her humility, and her meekness. He (and Heavenly Father) wanted to see if she would believe in Jesus strongly enough that she would still come to him for help, even in the face of his seeming unfairness and discrimination.

And she did.

25 The woman came and knelt before him. “Lord, help me!” she said.

26 He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.”

27 “Yes it is, Lord,” she said. “Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.”

28 Then Jesus said to her, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed at that moment.

The woman chose to have faith and to come to Jesus even when she seemed like a second-class citizen, or even an illegal alien. And here is the key: Ultimately, she gained the exact same blessing as the Israelites did.

There will be times when, because of Church policies or structure or even doctrine, we feel like we are second-class citizens. We may feel unfairly treated or even openly discriminated against.

When that happens, we can turn away, rejecting the only source of true healing and power.

Or we can humble ourselves and submit to God’s will and order, even when we don’t understand it or agree with it. And as we do, we will find that Christ is willing to offer us every blessing we once thought was denied us.

1. David S. Baxter, “Faith, Fortitude, Fulfillment: A Message to Single Parents,” Ensign, May 2012.

Image credit: Germain Drouais, The Woman of Canaan at the Feet of Christ, 1784, public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.